I’ve been sitting at my computer for the last half an hour trying to come up with a clever way to introduce this topic, but I can’t, so I’ll just say it– OMG YOU GUYS PUPPIES CAME TO MY WORK TODAY AND IT WAS THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE WORKING LIFE! It turns out my company never had to promote me, or give me raises or an office– if they had just given me puppies, I would have continued working indefinitely for the starting salary I got straight out of grad school.
This magical encounter happened courtesy of Uber– for $30, they would show up at your office with puppies and let them romp around for 15 minutes. I had heard tell of this magical event before, but as a person over the age of 27, I think I am actually not legally permitted to use Uber, so I had to rely on the Young People to make this happen. And it did– right as I walked into a meeting with HR.
I got the first text just as I was sitting down: THE DOGS ARE ON THEIR WAY YOU HAVE TO COME NOW
I looked around the room, evaluating the situation– the meeting didn’t really pertain to me, per se, but I am not the kind of person who just walks out of meetings, especially not if I am one of only a few people invited. I texted back: I don’t think I can, can you stall them?
It only took a few seconds for the next text to come in: THE ONE DOG’S NAME IS HARRY PAWTER.
There is really only one response to that. I’ll be right down, I said.
And then I got up and, without ceremony, left the meeting, making hasty apologies and hinting at a vague disaster on my floor, which there was, because THE FLOOR WAS EMPTY BECAUSE EVERYONE ON IT WAS DOWN IN THE LOBBY PLAYING WITH THE PUPPIES EXCEPT ME.
And when I got down to the lobby there were two hound puppies there and everyone was acting like they were five years old and people were physically rolling around on the ground with the puppies and squealing and taking selfies with the puppies and IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE TIME THAT A SINGING TELEGRAM DRESSED AS A GORILLA SHOWED UP FOR GINA’S 30TH BIRTHDAY, which is saying a lot, because singing primates are generally considered pretty rare.
And I’m fairly positive that no more work was done for the rest of the day, but how could you really expect anyone to be productive after puppies?